We Need a Men’s Liberation Movement
My friend Kara wore a shirt one day that said, “This is What a Feminist Looks Like,”and she was having fun giving people double takes. Apparently when people saw her shirt in the elevator they would look her over and make funny faces. She enjoyed the consternation it provoked among random passers-by. But why, I wonder, should such a shirt be so controversial? I was proud of my feminist grandmothers in the League of Women Voters. For me, a feminist was a heroine like Susan B. Anthony, not all that much different from Frederick Douglas.
In Americorps training, one of my female colleagues brought up the feminist T-shirt as an example of a T-shirt that was “too political,” to wear to work. (In our professional capacity, us Americorps workers are supposed to stay non-political, whatever beliefs we may espouse as private individuals.) I was a little bit shocked by that. If I wore a T-shirt that said, “This is what someone who hates racism looks like,” nobody would view me as political— only politically correct. So why is the feminist T-shirt political? A feminist is just someone who believes women should stand up for their rights— right?
However, Kara surprised me by agreeing that the T-shirt would be inappropriate to wear to work. Later I learned how the T-shirts were part of a project she worked on in college. They got a big group of people (men and women) together wearing the feminist T-shirts and took a nice colored photo. Then they hung posters of the photo all over campus, so that people would know their classmates (male and female) were feminists. The posters didn’t go over well. People wrote “faggot” and “dyke” all over them with black sharpie.
So feminism isn’t just Susan B. Anthony and women’s suffrage and equal pay. There’s quite a bit going on here. I’ve had many conversations with women my own age who say they disagree with feminism. Only women my own age. Anyone who’s a little bit older than that will rail about how much women have suffered and what vital victories have been won, “You don’t know how lucky you are, young lady! Why, when I was your age…”
But a girl my age— well, I understand them. To them, going to work and earning a paycheck doesn’t look like so much fun. They think they would enjoy being a homemaker more. Feminism tells them that being a homemaker is bad, so they don’t like feminism. Feminism says that instead of showering love and cookies onto their children, they should go out and be a wage slave. At least, that’s the modern perception of feminism— which helps explain why so many people are against it!
Hegemony is a fun word. I think it’s because of male hegenomy that women’s liberation is currently defined as “women’s liberty to assume male roles.” Embedded somewhere is the assumption that men’s roles are inherently more important and interesting than female roles. It was all about giving women the chance to prove they were “as good as men.” It never occurred to anybody that men might need the chance to prove they were “as good as women.”
Women who choose to assume “male” roles are applauded. Look at the number of grants and scholarships that exist to get women into the sciences. However, men that choose to assume female roles are mocked and derided, subject to an intensive social stigma. Men who want to be kindergarten teachers are laughed at or suspected of being pedophiles. And where are the scholarships for getting men into the arts? If a man wants to follow his dream of being a fashion designer, everyone chuckles and says he must be gay. Women don’t have to take that kind of crap. There’s a guy named Daniel Seddiqui who tried out fifty different careers in fifty weeks to find out what his dream career would be. Out of all the different careers he tried, the one he loved best was dietician. His mom told him he shouldn’t be a dietician because that was a “women’s job.”
We can see the signs of men’s oppression everywhere. Rapes of men are reported even less often than rapes of women, particularly if the rape is accomplished through emotional coercion rather than by physical force. If their wives beat them, men have trouble getting justice because no one will believe them. Men are afraid to report rape and domestic violence, because they are supposed to be sex-hungry fiends who enjoy sex— any sex— and they are supposed to be too tough to let weak women beat them.
The oppression of men is also clearly visible in our dress standards. Women can wear pants whenever they want. It wasn’t easy to win the right to wear pants. When Amelia Bloomer first invented female pants, people fussed about it like it was the end of the world. But although a few courageous men have stood up for their right to wear dresses, it is still considered indecent and shocking. (One of my dad’s colleagues had his student call him a “faggot” because he chose to wear a kilt to teach class.) True, pants are great for climbing trees and riding bikes, but skirts are fun to twirl and help you stay comfortable in hot weather. Anyone should be able to wear anything they want to without worrying about social stigma.
I bring up dress because it’s a very good social indicator of what’s taking place under the surface. It’s not just dress though— it’s all kinds of things. Men have to cope with the most amazing array of mixed messages. On the one hand, we tell men they should be in touch with their emotions, and on the other hand we tell them to “man up,” when they cry. On the one hand, they’re supposed to be good fathers. On the other hand, paternity leave is generally stingy (if it exists at all) and divorce courts can be quite biased in favor of women. We simultaneously berate men for their neglect of their families, and then make it difficult for them to be involved in their children’s lives. We make fun of men who wear the baby backpack. It’s this viciously cruel double standard which first pushes men out of the domestic life and then berates them for not getting involved enough.
I think there are lots of men out there who would love to wear the baby backpack, who would enjoy being homemakers, wearing beautiful colors, expressing their emotions, caring for others, and all the other things men aren’t supposed to want. Women are chipping away at the “glass ceiling” which keeps them from sitting in the power chair earning the big bucks. But the glass ceiling which confines men is far more restrictive and virtually unchallenged in its power. People mostly don’t believe it exists. If men aren’t being domestic, its supposedly because they’re douchebags who really aren’t into the whole love and cookies scene. But is this about men’s preferences, or is it about social coercion? Remember everyone used to think that women didn’t “want” careers. Although our world was defined by cultural norms, we thought it was defined by personal preferences.
Personally, I tend to view all professions as an extension of the profession of home-making. We get out and have jobs so we can have money for our homes. We also have jobs so that we can make our community, our world, a better place. After all, our ultimate home is the earth we live on, so every profession is “homemaking” in the larger sense. Pretty much all jobs are related to the maintenance or improvement of the world our children are going to live in. Since we are ultimately working towards the same goal, why is there so much conflict about who belongs where?
It comes down to this, people. How you spend your life should be based on your talents and abilities, not one what kind of package you carry between your legs. We’ve realized this about women, to some extent. But men are still victims of biological predetermination. We need to free them from the “man-box.” The women’s liberation movement cannot be complete until men are liberated too.
What happened to feminism? The women’s movement was supposed to be about equality, but something went wrong when money and power became the ONLY yardstick of equality. The result? Latchkey kids bring themselves up on TV and we sneer at anyone, male or female, who dares to center their ambitions around the home. Men need to rise up and demand their right to be feminine. Does this seem outrageous to you?
equality feminism human rights men's liberation women's liberation
27 Responses
This is not outrageous. I feel exactly the same way about everything you’ve written here, and have thought about it often.
I enjoy reading your blog – we seem to think the same way about many things, and also wonder (without opinion) about the same issues 🙂
Keep it up!
Thanks Cassie!
I am in substantial agreement with you. I’d call it the glass tube for men – you can go up, but a lot of directions are excluded. When my wife and I went to the Friends of the Library yearly gathering a few years back, I made a tray of sushi (I love to cook, sushi is my signature dish). Since Wendy was the recording secretary of the Friends of the Library, I figured I had the “spousal” role of cooking our contribution to the pot luck. Our hostess greeted us with “Wendy! You didn’t have to make such a fancy dish!” I was simultaneously gratified and honked off. It simply did not occur to our hostess that I might have done the cooking.
The metaphor of a glass tube is interesting.
Another example is the one-way migration of names. Caroll and Lynn used to be boys’ names. Then they became ambigendered, with spelling differences optional. Now they are almost exclusively used by girls. Taylor is almost exclusively used for girls now, Jaden is migrating, and I predict that in 50 years, no boys will be named “Brayden.” Why is it ok for girls to have traditionally male names, but unthinkable for boys to carry traditionally female names?
Maybe for the same reason it’s not okay for a man to cry or be a dietician… because maybe somewhere in our darkest hearts, we still believe manliness is somehow better than femininity, if only in that it is safer or more powerful. For a woman to have a man’s name, or a man’s job, or wear a man’s clothes, will be a promotion, will empower her… but for a man to have a woman’s name, or a pink-collar job, or a “skirt,” will make him vulnerable. We are a long, long way from respecting and protecting every person equally.
The name thing is very insightful– I wish that had occurred to me when I was writing the blog.
YES.
Basically, I ditto everything that you have said in this post. Although here in The True North Strong And Free, paternity leave is mandated by the government and can be split any way the couple wants (often women take the first half, until the baby is weaned, and then men take the second half).
Still, men are subject to a massive amount of cultural pressure to conform to a variety of roles. And it’s not clear to what degree that pressure has been internalised…It’s worth noting that when men try to rebel, it’s not women who stop them, but other men: Cultural norms tend to be self-policing that way.
I somewhat agree with what you have said… however, I think most of it has to do with a person’s opinion. It’s not just men that are being labeled. Just because women have come a long way, it doesn’t mean we’re not judged as well by what we wear, or do for a living. There are always going to be people who judge men and women without getting to know them. You mentioned that men may be looked upon as being gay if they like certain things… well, what if a woman were to cut her hair short and work as a mechanic? Maybe she were to wear a man’s shirt and pants because it’s comfortable. People may assume she is gay as well. It works both ways. I did enjoy reading your blog, but it’s kind of overly sympathetic for men. Just because women are looked upon differently than they were many years ago, it doesn’t mean it’s for the better. In my opinion, women are more slutty in our time because they wear overly revealing clothes. Women are bad mothers when they are screaming at their children in public for no reason. I find it adorable when a man wears a baby backpack, and so do a lot of other women. Men who have children will not make fun of the guy with the baby, and ones who don’t have kids may judge him, just like most people judge each other by the way we perceive them. I still see lots of men who wear pink shirts or ties, and they’re not made fun of for it by everyone. I guess my point is no matter what people do or wear they will always be judged by those around them. Sadly, that’s just the way it is. It has nothing to do with expectations, it’s just personal preference/perceiving others in our own ways.
I think you’re right that there is no way to escape judgments and stereotyping– that’s very insightful. About being “overly sympathetic to men,” that was partly a ploy to catch people’s attention. I thought if I said “men are oppressed,” people would sit up and take notice, because its such an unusual / shocking way to phrase things. Maybe my rhetoric was too melodramatic.
I don’t think it’s possible to be “overly sympathetic”. I think that genuine compassion and understanding are always better than knee-jerk reactionism, especially when the group you’re talking about is as diverse as “men”. The system is the enemy, not the people in it–and no one has it perfect (or some might argue, no one even has it good) in the system of gender roles as it stands today.
When paternity leave was introduced here, I thought it was interesting that blue-collar men were much quicker to take advantage of it in the beginning. It’s evening out now and I know a number of white-collar men who have taken three-month paternity leaves (rarely longer) — but it took a while for it to become acceptable for the lawyers and so forth. One of the male boxes is that you’re supposed to be so devoted to your job that you have to make time for family, preferably not much of it …
First off, I find it interesting that I manage to find myself in so many of your blogs 😉
And second, I think there is a general misunderstanding of what “feminism” is to our generation. I think you’re still learning- I know I am.
Much of what I think contemporary feminism in the workplace is about is not so much forcing ourselves into a patriarchal workforce like our mothers did in the 60s, but by having society truly value what is deemed “domestic” work. Jobs in fashion, teaching, nursing, caretaking, administration, and housekeeping are seen in society as “nurturing” type jobs. And I personally don’t see much wrong with that. I don’t see that as a positive or a negative thing.
Here’s the problem I do have. Even though society highly values teachers, nurses, etc and the incredible “nurturing” women that fill those roles, they are almost never compensated well. Domestic work clearly is highly valued in society, but not in dollars. People would love it for women to stay home and tend to the youth of America, but what’s in it for the women? Absolutely, go get your Master’s and teach our kids to be the best they can be, but you’ll be paid the lowest of any person with an advanced degree. And don’t get me started on how bad nurses get it in hospitals ;).
I wholeheartedly agree that sexism exists on both sides of the spectrum. But as far as workforce is concerned, I’m less concerned about getting women to be CEOs than I am about changing the trends of the middle/working class and getting domestic work the respect it truly deserves.
That’s a really good point Kara!
Thanks for the insightful perspective! I think this was a great article. As a man, I can certainly relate to experiencing all the pressures and prejudices you’ve talked about here and more. As one poster mentioned, for the most part, the pressure isn’t coming from women — the problem is mostly other men and the societal “mold” that bombards us constantly for what a man is supposed to be like, especially on the “inside” (don’t show any vulnerabilities, don’t be flamboyant or exuberant, don’t admit fear or insecurities, don’t cry, etc). I could talk about how this is similar but different to how the media bombards women with images of what they’re supposed to look like on the “outside” (and how distorted and sick that image is), and compare who has it tougher, etc, but I think we need to start talking about both genders’ liberation without trying to compare it to the other, lest we become lost in self-righteousness and make the other gender into an enemy. Isn’t compassion for one another and for ourselves what we really need right now? Without taking anything away from the incredible hardship and repression that women have endured for centuries, men need to start talking about how horribly emotionally stunted we are, and how critical it is that men start gaining the courage to break out of our shells and be the emotionally liberated role models that young men and boys growing up so desperately need. Men are highly emotional beings, as emotional as women, but are taught early on that it is invalid to express those emotions, in particular any emotion that makes us appear vulnerable. Men have no idea how repressed and limited we’ve made ourselves. Has it ever occurred to anyone that the reason men are so prone to violence, obsessed with sex and pornography, and get sucked into addictions of all kinds is not because of some “male wiring”, but perhaps because of how emotionally repressed we are? Women have been talking about their collective pain and subjugation for fifty years now, and bravo to them! I am sure most women would agree there is a lot more work to do, and that men’s liberation has to be part of it. Men haven’t even really started because we don’t see that the main obstacle as ourselves. Both genders need to start a dialogue, with the opposite gender in the room, so that we can each learn from one another (and ourselves) how to realize ourselves as human beings — ironically, so that we can honor gender, while at the same time, begin to make it secondary to our shared humanity.
Where are the people wearing ‘This is what a Masculinist looks like ‘ t shirts ?
If we need feminism, then we need masculinism as well.
Part of the problem is that anything traditionally viewed as female is degraded an undervalued. Since men have all these expectations placed on them to be powerful, etc. and traditionally female roles don’t ever fit into those expectations. If we valued non-wage labor equally as wage labor, there would be less pressure for everyone to be something they don’t want to be.
Traditional female roles have also gone down in value because some of them have become easily replaceable. My grandmother used to bake bread because you couldn’t buy any in her village. Also if you wanted butter or cheese, someone had to make it. Same thing with clothes, carpets and even shoes. From what I hear it was tradition for women to make their wedding dress. She did live in a remote archaic village, but I take that as a sign of authenticity.
By comparison today we can buy pretty much all those things and more. But I also agree that some things are taken for granted and that money can’t buy everything. In fact, materialism is part of the problem. Our entire lives revolve around the things we own and we constantly use material value as replacement of sign of emotional involvement.
Thank you for this article, I wish I would of found it earlier.
I was never able to understand why people think male gender roles are desirable. As a man I don’t think it’s in my own interest to be the sole financial provider for my family. I wouldn’t want the responsibility, I don’t think it would make me happy and most of all it wouldn’t make my wife happy in the long run. In practice she would probably file for divorce and blame me for it. And ultimately it doesn’t make sense financially. Not to devalue domestic work but I don’t have a full time housekeeper now and I’m not looking at marriage as a way of getting one.
But the issue is men still see themselves by default in these roles, and nobody is really challenging that from a male perspective. We do hear the feminist point of view, but all it achieves, for the ones that choose to listen to it, is to train us not to display sexist behaviour. It doesn’t change the way we think of ourselves and our relation to women. If anything it might even get incorporated into our sexist views. Like Michael Moore thinking that men have ruined the earth and that we should hand it over to women, presumably because they are gentle beings that would never hurt anybody. While his view can be flattering I still think it’s rather sexist and it doesn’t really help women.
This is also the reason why men want their wives to stay at home, for the most part. They see themselves responsible for providing financial support. Ask men to imagine they were married and when their first child is born their wife wants to become a stay at home mom, although she never gave any indication of it up to that point. Then ask them if they would go along with it. I bet most would say “whatever she wants” or “if we can afford it, sure”. Then ask women to do the same exercice and I bet you’ll find the answer to be, for the most part, a resounding no. What is important to observe here is not how we see our partners but how we see ourselves. Personally I think women have what you might call the normal reaction here.
As a last thought, I think feminists sometimes feel raising these issues takes something away from feminism, or at least that has been my experience. I presume it’s because they are often faced with dismissive attitudes so they see it as a me too type of thing. I think these issues are important because I don’t see sexism and mysoginy (today at least) as being causes of the problem but rather sympthoms. And I don’t want to make excuses for bad behaviour, but in order to move ahead we need a better understanding of what is actually going on.
WordPress fail….
Thank you for this article, I wish I would of found it earlier.
I was never able to understand why people think male gender roles are desirable. As a man I don’t think it’s in my own interest to be the sole financial provider for my family. I wouldn’t want the responsibility, I don’t think it would make me happy and most of all it wouldn’t make my wife happy in the long run. In practice she would probably file for divorce and blame me for it. And ultimately it doesn’t make sense financially. Not to devalue domestic work but I don’t have a full time housekeeper now and I’m not looking at marriage as a way of getting one.
But the issue is men still see themselves by default in these roles, and nobody is really challenging that from a male perspective. We do hear the feminist point of view, but all it achieves, for the ones that choose to listen to it, is to train us not to display sexist behaviour. It doesn’t change the way we think of ourselves and our relation to women. If anything it might even get incorporated into our sexist views. Like Michael Moore thinking that men have ruined the earth and that we should hand it over to women, presumably because they are gentle beings that would never hurt anybody. While his view can be flattering I still think it’s rather sexist and it doesn’t really help women.
This is also the reason why men want their wives to stay at home, for the most part. They see themselves responsible for providing financial support. Ask men to imagine they were married and when their first child is born their wife wants to become a stay at home mom, although she never gave any indication of it up to that point. Then ask them if they would go along with it. I bet most would say “whatever she wants” or “if we can afford it, sure”. Then ask women to do the same exercice and I bet you’ll find the answer to be, for the most part, a resounding no. What is important to observe here is not how we see our partners but how we see ourselves. Personally I think women have what you might call the normal reaction here.
As a last thought, I think feminists sometimes feel raising these issues takes something away from feminism, or at least that has been my experience. I presume it’s because they are often faced with dismissive attitudes so they see it as a me too type of thing. I think these issues are important because I don’t see sexism and misogyny (today at least) as being causes of the problem but rather sympthoms. And I don’t want to make excuses for bad behaviour, but in order to move ahead we need a better understanding of what is actually going on.
Very thoughtful article.
[…] You can use jokes to conceal your true emotions behind a smokescreen of humor. It’s a way of expressing yourself, and hinting at your inner feelings, without ever admitting how you truly feel. And men are under a lot of pressure to keep their emotions hidden and not talk about them seriously. Because, you know women aren’t the only people who suffer from gender roles. Men suffer too (see my earlier blog, We Need a Men’s Liberation Movement.) […]
This was an excellent article and you are sooo
correct !
If I seen it once.. I’ve seen it a thousand times….
At an outdoor public gathering.. a little girl in a dress
falls down and scratches her knee, and cries. One of
her parents picks her up and say’s ” now now dear..
you’ll be ok ” then they’ll express to others near by…
” She’s so sensitive “. Let the same thing
happen to a little boy, and you’ll usually hear the father
shouting at him ” stop crying like a @%#! girl, or
I’ll give you something to cry over” !
So in essence… tenderness is litterally emotionally
beat out of little boys. This is one of the reasons that
I believe almost all school shootings are by males
and not females.
Also simularly.. a little girl in a dress can show her
undies and it’s laughably cute, but let a little boy do
it and he’ll be repremened and told he’ll get a whipping
if he doe’s it again. And all the way up though life, he
is taught that little girls bodies are cute, but not his own.
This builds resentment and dis-respect for his own body.
Remember the Nuersery rhyme ” What are little girls made
of and what are little boys made of ? How nice to tell this
to Innocent little children especially little boys !
I say It’s a crime.
Finally I got to see a poll questioneer asked to about
100 Japanese girls, asking if they could be born again
if they would choose to be born as a boy. All 100 girls
said ” no way” did they want to ever be re-born as a boy. And
they give the reason as… absolutly boring clothing to
wear. And it’s true. Because Men have this terrible
insecurity they might look too feminine, they wind up
wearing only pants, suit pants, jean pants, baggy gang
banger pants, Gang banger cut off pants that they call
shorts, that are of course not really shorts at all, but
what women called Cool-lots just a few years ago.
So for men it’s simply ” Pants” nothing else.
I as a married man to a wonderful wife that understand, I spent 4 months in Hawaii and came down to get a tan and wore Australian men’s bikinis but was appalled at what the
guys were wearing there that They called swim wear,
but to me it literally looked to me as though they had out
grown their baggy pants and could not afford new ones.
Their swimwear consisted of baggy Gangbangers with the
crouch about 4″ above their knees ( it was hard for them to
walk in them ), and the pant legs were about 4 to 6 inches
above there ankles ! There was no way they were going to
get a sun tan, and really they couldn’t swim well in them either.
I talked to a few of them.. and they felt they looked less
feminine this way so wouldn’t be bullied by their male counterparts.
All the women ran around in bikinis enjoying the water
spray and sun on their skin.. but not the Macho’s.
What made it worse the Macho’s tried to haze other men
I had my life threatned twice by gang banger macho’s
just simply because I wore different swimwear then they
and it irritated their little ego’s.
Women can put on a pair of suspender overalls and still
don’t feel their feminity is threatened. But most egitostcal
males can’t even wear a pair of pink shoes without another
male having an absolute fit over it ! As though it should be
any of his business in the first place. He has the right to
dress himself as a clown if He chooses and I respect that.
However He doe’s not have the right to dress someone else.
If a man wearing a cool skirt in the summer makes him gay
and a danger to society, then obviously a woman wearing jeans
will make her a lesbian and also quite dangerous to society.
I had a hearty grandmother that lived to 102 years of age, and
she sat down one time and told me in tears, that when she was a young
woman the first time she started wearing jeans that her home
town totally ostricized her. She could purchase from the stores, but the
merchants would refused to talk to her, and she was no longer welcomed
at any church or social meeting. Women had to fight hard and long for their right to
wear nearly anything or almost nothing at all. But men don’t
have the courage to do the same fight for themselves. Women
actually have more courage then most men that I’ve met. I’m
talking about macho men that tell you if you don’t agree with them
they’ll beat you up as they have the last 15 guys. Brute bulishness
in no way reflects courage… in fact it display’s just opposite.
I received many compliments from the women there.. with
most saying that it was good to see a man dressed in something
other then baggy long pant shorts. But very few compliments
from the men.. mostly outright threats from them. It didn’t really
look like they could dress themselves much less know how to
tell anyone else how to dress.
It doen’t take a genious to look at the vast diversity, styles and
colors of clothing women have a free choice at wearing without being
sexually discriminated against, as compared to the choices men
have. It’s very clear, Men also need a clothing liberation.
However most macho men are too arrogant and biggoted to even know it, but
it is as obvious as the nose on one’s face
Thank you so much for this enlightening article!! You are so right!! I think that the Women’s Liberation Movement puts too much pressure on women and wants them to act like men!!! It also devalues the life of the unborn fetus!! If a woman wants to care for her own children she should not be made to feel like she is worthless for doing so!! There is no higher calling than child raising!! The Children are our future!! Children need the love of a mother at least until kindergarten! Love this article!!!
Men and women evolved specialized and complementary roles in human survival and reproduction. It is in our DNA. Behavioral differences are not merely socialized; brain studies and studies in infants have shown innate differences. Culture is a reflection of human nature. The ‘progressives’ have it exactly backwards which is why their enterprise is doomed to fail. Communism is a good example of that. Unfortunately, feminism is based on cultural Marxism.
That which is different cannot by definition be equal. Patriarchy is necessary for civilization. There has never been a non-patriarchal civilization. The matriarchal societies that have existed were not civilizations; they lived in grass huts, had no written language or the wheel. Civilization is a masculine enterprise. The current push for “equality” will result in the demise of Western civilization. The West will be taken over by other cultures like Muslims who know better than to demonize masculinity and let their women go feral.
I love your blog
I have read this article and enjoyed it
I’m absolutely in full agreement with what you are saying. The problem seems to be there is such a “battle of the sexes” going on at the moment that noone realises that destroying traditional gender roles in our society would benefit both parties hugely. The problem I have is when Emma Watson is telling me that Feminism is looking to do just that. Feminism is to promote women’s rights, that’s fine and dandy. However, when you start trying to bring men into the Feminist picture it begs the question of “why call it Feminism?”. I always thought the term “feminism” actually promotes gender essentialism, the gender binary, social divide that various self-proclaimed feminists seem to dislike. We should call it something like “anti-genderism” or something. Another “ism”.
I think maybe we seem to see the masculinity as the norm in society almost. As if sometimes women are attempting to simply become men. Be the providers of the family, wear a suit, be strong, be vulgar, have casual sex etc. However, there is very little conversion the opposite way as you point out. It is absolutely not socially acceptable nor common for men to wear female clothes and you would definitely be assumed to be homosexual if you did.
The trick is, if it were acceptable for men to behave in a traditionally female way then we would see the current system crumble and equality would be theoretically reached.
My 2c